Love lives even after one dies

Recently, i have experience a heart breaking occasion where a family member just passed away. ( i would prefer to use move on but somehow that word brings a whole different meaning for that situation lolololololol!)

Remember my post saying i'm a pessimist? Yeah perhaps i should added that I'm a introvert and anti social. Basically i wouldnt know if the world comes to an end if someone tells me. Or i will get to know the news later on when we all meet in heaven. Yeah i'm should by right be a tortoise or turtle since i hide in my shell most of the times hahahaha.

It would seems fun but that will made me regret due to something i should do but didnt.

It dawn of me, that i did not know her pretty well. It also made me realise that i did not know or remember her personally, even if we're in family. Everything i knew was stories from others that continues to add on on my guilt.

I always say it's a blessing to be able to love.

But i did not truly experience the real connection of that word till i stand at her bedside, accompany by all family members, feeling her breathing goes slow and seeing her life slowly slipped away. I did not truly experience it till close family members saying their last words to her. I did not trutly experience till they touched her face and giving her gentle kisses. I did not truly experience it till someone said, "sleep well."

It'll make me think someday, someone close to me or maybe even me will experience that kind of departure.

It'll make me think that did i try my best to fulfill my role in the family? It'll make me think, i've not been doing things that i should do from the start. It'll make me think, that it is a regret that i did not love her fully and have accepted hers fully. It'll make me think that if i dont appreciate things now, the regret will doubled. Definitely.

I am not a spiritual person, perhaps i should say, i havent completely surrender myself to spiritual beliefs, but suprisingly and funnily, i dont know if i'm thinking too much or i'm too sensitive, i got a feeling that she's still here. And that she left behind a love that will continuously to love, even after death.